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]]>FRANKFORT, Ky.
]]>A spokeswoman for Kentucky Gov. Steve Beshear says he's calling the tree on the Capitol's front lawn a "Christmas" tree this holiday season.
A statement from the administration last week sparked Christmas consternation by referring to the yet-to-be-chosen evergreen as a "holiday" tree. Some Christians were perturbed by the terminology.
Spokeswoman Kerri Richardson says the administration received a steady stream of e-mails and phone calls about the "holiday" tree. She says it's always been a Christmas tree to the governor, and it will be this year, too.
The governor is inviting critics of the "Christmas" tree to a lighting ceremony Nov. 30.
Louis the louse should bow out of this competition at the end of this year and never come back again.
]]>It's Terry Wogan, the only one with a banking qualification.
]]>2. Have you any phobias?
Still have a fear of heights.
3. Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes I am sure that some residue of our existance remains once we die.
4. Do you believe in UFO's?
There are too many unexplained instances for me to say no.
5. If you could reincarnate, what would you come back as?
Hard question, I could be really crude, but no I think it would have to be a tortoise on the Galapagos Islands.
6. Do you believe in past lives?
I have flashbacks of the English Civil War and I am sure I was once a Roundhead.
7. Have you a lucky number?
Yes, 8
8. Have you ever had your fortune told?
Only by Taro cards never by a medium.
9. Do you believe in Karma?
Yes, positivity seems to bring more of the same to me.
10. Has conventional religion had it's day?
I would say that it has lost its way and needs to get back to basics.
It doesn't enhance your sexual performance but it does stop your biscuit going soft..
]]>10. You get puffed out from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
]]>1. There are many theories about the origin of the word “bogeyman.” One is that it devolved from “buggy man,” the driver of the cart picking up corpses during the Black Plague that decimated Europe. As in the United States, the bogeyman may be nothing more clearly defined than a mist or fog, scratching at windows, or he is sometimes thought of as a tall, gaunt, scarecrow-like man.
2. In Japan you find The Namahage who visits each house on New Year’s to ask if any misbehaving children live there.
3. The Korean bogeyman is called Kotgahm, which is the word for persimmon. The legend is that a mother told her crying child that she would feed him to a tiger if he did not behave. A passing tiger, hearing the threat, waited outside the door for his meal. Instead, the mother gave the child a persimmon, a kotgahm, and the crying stopped. The tiger thought the kotgahm must be a terrifically fierce creature to be more frightening than a tiger. Today, the kotgahm is most often visualized as an old man with a mesh sack who carries naughty children away.
4. In Spain you find El Coco hairy little man with a coconut as a head, with the three holes the features of a face. During the 16th and 17th centuries in Spain, there were orphan collectors, who took children away in sacks. The misbehavior? Refusing to go to bed and sleep.
5. In Finland we find one of the most unusual of the world’s bogeys the Groke, a giant blue blob who is so lonely and sad that the ground beneath her feet freezes as she walks. She is not malevolent, just lonely. But she frightens people, and they run from her.
6. Soctland has The boggart which is a malicious fairy who causes personal calamities, small and large. It sometimes puts a cold hand on people’s faces at night. You must not name it, or it will become unreasonable and follow your family wherever you go. A horseshoe over the doorway will protect you from boggarts.
7. In the Bahamas you find The Small Man who has a rolling cart and captures children who are out after sundown. If he gets you, you will become a Small Person yourself, and ride in his cart forever.
8. In Bulgaria you find Baba Yaga’s evil partner, Torbalan who lurks in the shadows in Bulgaria, waiting to snatch misbehaving children and carry them away in a sack.
9. Poland has Bubak a scarecrow-like man who hides on riverbanks, making sounds like a lost baby to lure adults as well as children. He drives a cart driven by cats and weaves clothing for the souls he has stolen.
10. Holland has The Bolman who has claws and fangs. He hides under your bed or in your closet waiting to grab you and put you in the basement if you don’t sleep.
11. Pugot Mamu from the Phillipines, is a gigantic, headless shape-shifter who lives in trees and deserted houses. Self-beheaded, he eats children through the hole in his neck.
12. The Bonhomme Sept-Heures – the seven o’clock man – from Canada may have been taken from the English “bone setter,” an old name for a traveling medicine man. The seven o’clock man steals children, but can only get you if you are awake.
13. The Norwegians have The Nokken, a lake monster, will get you if you don’t come in when called.
14. The Jumbies live in Trinidad and Tobago, post-death misbehavers. They are shape-shifters, so children are taught not to play with random animals. There are several ways to defeat Jumbies, however. You can leave your shoes outside; Jumbies have no feet and will spend the night trying to get the shoes on. You can leave a container of sand or rice outside the door; Jumbies will have to count each grain. You can cross a river; Jumbies won’t cross water. You can leave a rope with many knots; Jumbies will have to untie each one.
15. Italy has l’uomo Nero, a tall man with an unseen face, a heavy coat and a black hat. He hides under the table and parents knock on the table to warn their children that l’uomo Nero is present and will take them away if they don’t eat their dinner.
]]>'Chillaxing' need I give an explanation?
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]]>I was listening to the radio whilst in Leicester, when a DJ admitted that he might be getting old. He related the fact that he had thought he had lost his mobile phone. After searching the house for it for several hours, he gave up, accepting that he must have dropped it somewhere.
Later that evening he heard the phone ringing and searching for where the sound was coming from found it in the fridge.
]]>Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death
rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
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Classic album cover stamps due out on 7th January 2010
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]]>9. The Theology of Eating
8. The Study of Stupidity
7. The Joy of Garbage - What is the difference between ‘garbage’ ,’discard’ and ‘waste’?
6. The Art of Sin and the Sin of Art
5. Philosophy and Star Trek
4. Zombies! - The living dead in Literature, Film and Culture
3. Maple Syrup: The Real Thing
2. The Art of Walking - intelligible and sensual design in inner and outer nature
1. Signification of the phallus and the relation of the phallus to masculinity, femininity, genital organs and the fetish
Only available in America, there's a surprise.....
]]>They also come in Lemon Grass, Blood Orange and Sweet Lime varities.
What next Penelope Pitstop, April O'Neil,Lara Croft,Jessica Rabbit?
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1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka.
The stuff dissolves adhesive.
2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mould and mildew.
3. To clean your eyeglasses,simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.
4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving.
The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.
5. Spray vodka on wine stains, scrub with a brush, and then blot dry.
6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.
7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo.
The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.
8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle with vodka and spray bees or wasps to kill them.
9 Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water into a Ziploc freezer bag and freeze for a slushy, refreshing ice pack for aches, pain or black eyes.
10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains.
11. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.
12. To cure foot odour, wash your feet with vodka.
13. Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.
14. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the urushiol oil from your skin. Also works with nettles.
15. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.
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