The couple were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.
Though not young they were both in very good health largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.
One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.
They reached the pearly gates and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favourite clothes in the closet.
They gasped in astonishment when he said "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."
The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "Why, nothing, remember, this is your reward in Heaven".
The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth. "What are the green fees?" grumbled the old man.
"This is heaven, St. Peter replied. You can play for free every day."
Next they went to the Club House and saw the lavish buffet lunch laid out before them, from seafood to steak to exotic deserts, and free flowing beverages.
"Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. This all free for you to enjoy."
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. "Well, where are the low fat, low cholesterol foods and decaffeinated tea?" he asked.
"That's the best part" St. Peter replied. "You can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"
The old man pushed "No gym to work out at?"
"Not unless you want to" was the answer.
"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..."
"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself".
The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your Bran Muffins. We could have been here ten years ago".
HektorRevisited


Reminds me of this one (about the other place (not the House of Lords)).
One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with the devil.
Devil: Why so glum, chum?
Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell.
Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Devil: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays That's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab, and Fresca. We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more.
Guy: Gee, that sounds great.
Devil: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it.
Devil: Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie - you're already dead, remember?
Guy: Wow. That's awesome.
Devil: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Why yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Devil: Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow.
Devil: You into drugs?
Guy: Are you kidding? I love drugs. You don't mean....
Devil: That's right Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want and if ya overdose - that's alright - you're dead, who cares? O.D.!!
Guy: Yowza!! I never realized Hell was such a swingin' place.
Devil: You gay?
Guy: No....
Devil: Ooooh (grimaces), You're gonna hate Fridays . . .