Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for our dog at
Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had
a dog.

On impulse at this stupid question, I told her that no, I didn't have
a dog, but that I was starting the Purina Diet again although I probably
shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of
most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete
so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically
everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story).

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me.

I told her no; I had stepped off a curb to sniff a Irish Setter's butt
and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard.